


Ask

by millari



Category: Star Trek: Deep Space Nine
Genre: M/M, Yuletide 2011
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-12-18
Updated: 2011-12-18
Packaged: 2017-10-27 12:47:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,015
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/296019
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/millari/pseuds/millari
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>With a little help from Keiko, Miles realizes that Julian may want to be more than friends.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Ask

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Bonster](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bonster/gifts).



> Bonster, I managed to give Miles and Julian time in the holosuite, as you requested, but I'm afraid it's not exactly a holosuite *adventure*, unless you count romance an adventure. ;) Hope you like it anyway. Happy Yuletide!
> 
> Beta: I was fortunate enough to have two betas for this story! Thanks so much to the lovely Sphinxvictorian and to Trovia!

Miles had to admit, Julian had picked well: the restaurant was swank, the crooner Vic Fontaine, though a hologram, knew how to set a romantic mood. And the wine, while not generally Miles’ thing, was pretty good.

“All right, Julian,” he began with a bluster meant to tell his best friend not to get a swelled head about it. “You win. I’ll admit, this was a nice idea.” He looked over to Keiko next to him, feeling relaxed, happy, generous and well, romantic, after two glasses of real wine.“I’m having a great time.”

Miles had protested much of the way into this evening, but in the end, he had agreed to Julian’s romantic scheming for what he’d assumed would be a double date (although to his surprise, Julian had shown up alone). And now he was here admitting to having had a good time. _Julian should look happier,_ a glimmer of a thought flashed by him. _He should look downright smug_.

But for a guy who had just been given a golden opportunity to gloat, Julian was surprisingly subdued in his response. “I’m glad you’re enjoying yourself, Miles,” he said quietly, as if his mind were elsewhere.

“I just admitted you were right about something,” Miles blinked in surprise. “You could react with a _little_ more enthusiasm, Julian,” he teased. “Who knows when it will happen again?”

He didn’t take the bait, merely giving Miles a wan, unreadable half-smile, then poured himself some more wine and gave a wistful glance over at the stage, as Vic began a number called, “You’re Nobody 'Til Somebody Loves You.”

Miles had known Julian long enough to recognize that faraway, besotted look. It meant he had a crush on someone. “Who you pining for now?” he blurted out.

He chuckled inwardly as Julian choked on his drink a little. _Got it in one_ , he thought. “Is it the torch singer who was up there a while ago?”

Miles watched Julian drink his glass of wine down in two or three compulsive gulps, then finally raise his eyes to meet Miles'. He pursed his lips.“I don't know what you're talking about,” he managed, his voice barely audible over Fontaine's singing in the background. “I'm not _pining_ for anyone.” But he said it a little too fiercely for Miles to believe. Whoever he had fallen for this time, he looked genuinely embarrassed about it, which of course only sparked Miles' curiosity more.

“It _is_ her, isn't it? She's a hologram, you know.” He grinned. “You need to get out more.”

It was just then that he felt a kick to his left calf. “Ow!” he cried, more for annoyed effect than out of pain. He turned to Keiko, brow furrowed with confusion. “What was that for?”

“You're harrassing your friend, Miles,” she told him, but she had an unmistakable hint of a grin across her lips, and strangely, her gaze was plastered on Deep Space Nine's chief medical officer. “Julian _is_ such a good friend to you, isn't he?”

Miles looked back at Julian. The man's body had gone very still, his expression fastened upon Keiko's. He not only looked embarrassed now, he looked anxious. Only his hands moved, fingers tapping a restless, syncopated pattern on the base of his empty wine glass.

“He went to all this trouble to arrange this romantic night out,” Keilko added after too long of a pause. She leaned back in her seat and let her smile unfurl, looking like the cat that ate the canary. Miles shook his head, not understanding.

“Well, of course he is a good friend,” he said a bit gruffly, the tone he reserved for when something had gone over his head and he didn't feel comfortable admitting it. He waited, half-expecting Julian to break the tension with some kind of explanation for his behavior, but it never came.

It ended with Julian making a point of looking away.

 

**

“All right, what was that all about?” was Miles' first question an hour later as soon as they were out of Julian's earshot and walking along the Promenade.

“What was what all about?” Keiko asked, but he could hear the implied mischief in her reply.

“Come on,” he goaded. “You were up to something in there – all that smiling, and the way you were looking at Julian when you talked about what good friends we are. And what's with kicking me in the leg?”

She boarded the elevator without responding. Once the doors shut and they were completely alone, she spoke.

“You know, Miles,” she suggested. “I think Julian has a bit of a thing for you.”

The elevator shot upward, and Miles felt his stomach drop. “What?” his sharp-pitched response echoed in the tall, glass enclosure. “A thing? What kind of a thing?” She couldn't possibly mean …

Keiko rolled her eyes, mimicking his response. “'What kind of a thing?” she repeated. “A romantic thing. He's become attracted to you.”

There was that grin again, the same one from the restaurant.She pushed a strand of hair behind her ear, waiting for the elevator to reach its destination. Miles, eyes agog, had no idea how to respond, other than to utter a shocked denial: “That can't be,” he insisted. “You're imagining things.”

The doors opened and Keiko turned to face him. “Really? I could see it right away tonight, the way he looked genuinely surprised when the two of us showed up for dinner, the way he had brought no date himself.” She strode forward. “At least now I know why he looked so forlorn at the hangar bay when you both came to welcome me and the children back from Earth.”

When Miles still couldn't find anything else to say, she sighed. “It makes perfect sense that it could happen, Miles. From what you've told me yourself, the two of you spent an awful lot of time together while I've been gone these last eight months. You play darts with him, you go to the holosuites together; case in point, you have a date with him to play racquetball tomorrow. Face it Miles, you two have been doing everything under the sun together.”

“ _Guy_ things!” he protested. “We've been doing guy things!” By which he clearly meant things done by two guys who were just friends.

“Well, maybe these last eight months, while you've been doing all these _guy_ things together, Julian has been discovering that he's attracted to you. That's not so strange, is it? After all, _I_ find you attractive; why wouldn't Julian?”

It was in that moment that Miles realized that he rarely thought of himself as attractive. Once he'd found Keiko, he had pretty much stopped thinking about it. Worrying about his attractiveness was something that went with dating and finding someone to love, and well, he'd already checked that off his life's to-do list, hadn't he? .

Now he wondered if Julian ever thought about it – his own attractiveness. He seemed to take much more care with his appearance, come to think of it – that hair always perfectly in place, his manicured fingers, all those tailored, poncey tuxedoes he insisted on wearing when he played holosuite spy.

“Do you find _him_ attractive?” Keiko interrupted his thoughts.

Miles walked into their quarters on auto-pilot. “Attractive?” he repeated, like it was a strange new word in his vocabulary. “I dunno. I guess I never thought about it before.”

“Well, maybe you should.”

It took him a few seconds to process what she had just said. “Wait. What?”

“Maybe you should see if you'd be interested in him. It's not like I'd mind.”

“Mind what?”

“You know, the two of you. In a relationship,” she clarified.

“But you used to give me a hard time about how much time I spend with Julian. Now you're suggesting that I start dating him?”

“Oh come on, Miles, we're over that, aren't we? I told you I didn't mind you two spending time together. He's important to you. Besides, I don't see how dating him would change all that much. You already spend more time with him than with any other person on the station.”

She got a faraway look in her eyes, as if she were contemplating the possibilities. “Really,” she observed, “there'd just be fewer virtual dogfights and more kissing.”

_Kissing!_

Keiko had implanted the seed in his head, and now Miles found himself unable to stop picturing Julian's lips. He hadn't actually ever inspected them before, but given that this was Julian they were talking about here, he imagined they must be warm, soft …

His own lips were dry, chapped, he thought, touching them. Not very kissable, now that he gave it some thought. Did Keiko just not say anything?

“You're thinking about it, aren't you?” Keiko's voice nudged. “You're thinking about kissing Julian.”

Miles' hand flew down in embarrassment. “I'm not!” he said hotly. “I love _you_!” He steeled his resolve. “You and Molly are where I belong.”

“Who said anything about going anywhere?” She shook her head. “Or not loving me? I'm just saying it's the 24th century after all, and I like Julian. He's a wonderful person, and he's taken such good care of you while I've been gone.

“If we're open about everything and everyone involved is all right with it, what's the harm in either of us exploring a loving interest in another person we both already care about? Who's to say we humans can't love more than one person?”

Staring agape at her was getting pretty old at this point, but Miles didn't feel ready to give it up just yet.

 

**

“Your game seems rather off today, Miles. Is everything all right?”

Julian Bashir, his best friend and quite unexpectedly the sudden object of Miles' speculative romantic interest, stood with racquet and ball in hand, his fit body squeezed into his usual outfit for this occasion, a white unitard with a single light blue stripe across his chest and around the collar. The difference this time was, Miles found himself acutely aware of how the outfit was tighter than it needed to be.

Way tighter; it made the Starfleet uniforms look like a burlap sack. It also left little to Miles' currently racing imagination.

“You never mind about my game. My game's just fine,” he snapped, feeling rather beset. He kept finding himself imagining what Julian's body looked like underneath that outfit. _I bet he's flawless,_ he mused, then immediately regretted it.

 _Stop thinking of him that way_ , he told himself, thanking his lucky stars that today's match had been pretty competitive, because right now his face was bright red, and not just because of the exertion.

“It's your serve,” he groused, hunching down, knees bent, waiting in position for the ball to be put into play. He tried not to think about how hulking and awkward he suddenly felt next to Julian's neat lines. How could Keiko possibly be right? Wasn't Julian out of his league anyway? Could the man _really_ have a thing for him?

Did Miles want him to?

He watched Julian pull his body back and then lean forward into the serve, and was startled by a flash of memory – of someone from a long, long time ago: It was the olive skin, the expressive eyes, the thick shock of hair. It was by no means a perfect match, but Miles realized that Julian was kind of a ringer for his Starfleet Academy roommate, Owen.

The ball flew by him untouched.

“Miles!” Julian threw his hands up in frustration. “Now you're not even trying! I'm sorry, but this will hardly be a satisfying game if you aren't even going to attempt to compete.”

“I _am_ trying,” he shot back, shaken out of his thoughts, feeling embarrassed and annoyed. Seriously, what was he thinking? Him and Julian? This guy who on a dime could transform from a fun bloke into this insensitive, superior … total _ninny_?

Now he was imagining him and Julian in bed together, Julian telling him he wasn't trying hard enough. _God, no,_ he thought. _He'd give me a complex._

“That was just a lucky shot,” he insisted, trying to refocus.

“A lucky shot?” Julian replied, the doubt evident in his voice. “Well, it seems that I've been getting _awfully_ lucky today.” But then, to Miles' surprise, he paused, seeming to consider something, and his voice turned gentler, full of concern. “Are you sure everything's all right? Is something bothering you?”

He was staring at Miles with those eyes, like Miles was a puzzle to be figured out. Owen used to look at him that way, and it had always made Miles feel a little funny inside, but in a good way he had never quite bothered to pinpoint.

Owen had been his roommate for four years at the Academy. If he'd ever been attracted to a guy, Owen would have been the one. The guy had been a looker, charming too. Men, women, hell, even pets ate out of Owen's hand the moment they met him. In that way, he was nothing like Julian. But they both had the same kind of quick mind, that super-fast intelligence (well, maybe not genetically-enhanced intelligence, but definitely brainier than Miles). And they both shared those same animated eyes, ones that you caught looking at you in off-moments, like they were exploring you, like you were an interesting conundrum. Miles had occasionally caught Julian looking at him that way; now he wondered if it had meant more than he'd realized.

“Miles,” Julian prodded him, and Miles realized that he hadn't been saying anything for the last minute. “Are you _sure_ you're all right?”

“What do you mean, am I all right?” Unable to settle upon a tone of either bluster or curiosity, he ended up with an bizarre amalgam of both. He was terrible at this. “Why? Am I acting strange to you?”

Julian folded his arms across his chest in that careful, stiff way he had when he was assessing a new situation. “Well, to be honest, yes.”

For four years at the Academy, Owen had been right there in front of him, clearly interested in both men and women – in a lot of men and women, in fact. Thinking back, the man had implicitly let it be known that his bed was always open to Miles. So why hadn't he taken Owen up on it?

“Julian, I was just wondering about something ...” The words came out haltingly. “I mean,” he added, then paused, then made himself go on. “Just now, I mean - something that just idly occurred to me.”

He sounded like an idiot.

“All right,” Julian cocked his head in deliberately patient bewilderment. “What is it?”

“Uh …” His brain was racing, telling him to shut up right now, that there was no way in hell that Julian found him attractive, that Keiko was out of her mind, that …

“I was wondering,” he blurted out. “Do you think you could ever find a man attractive?”

Julian's brows flew up. He paused and stared at Miles hard, again like he was looking at a puzzle – not the fun, brainteasing kind, but one that might blow up on him if he tried the wrong answer. “Yes, Miles,” he replied slowly. “In fact, I have. Why?”

Miles paused for about ten seconds, unsure of what to say, then chickened out. “I see.” He paused again. “It's nothing. Just an idle question.”

“It doesn't seem like a particularly idle question to me.”

“I was just curious.”

“Why?”

“No reason.”

“Are you sure?”

“I'm sure, yes,” Miles insisted, then after another awkward pause, added. “So, did you ever um … pursue it?”

He could see the restraint in Julian's eyes as they went carefully blank and unblinking as he assessed Miles's question for a long moment. “Actually, yes,” he finally answered. “There was this man that I was attracted to at Starfleet Medical when I was an intern. We shared a lot of shifts together, and I started to realize that I had an attraction to him. So I … pursued it, as you say. I told him how I felt about him. We dated for a couple of months, but it didn't work out.”

“So then,” Miles prompted. “You became attracted to him because of all the time you were spending with him?”

“I suppose,” Julian's tone stayed cautious. “That was a factor, yes.”

“ _We_ spend a lot of time together,” Miles ventured after a moment, trying to make it sound like he was constructing a perfectly logical, unavoidable chain of thought, and not trying to test the waters. “So you could,” he paused for emphasis, “ _in theory_ , become attracted to me.”

Unmistakable alarm crossed Julian's face. So Keiko was right, Miles thought; she wasn't imagining things.

But a moment later, Julian's racquet shot up straight up before him, an unconscious barrier between them. “Miles, this seems like a very abstract line of reasoning, one that is completely unnecessary, because it's not going to become a problem.” He avoided Miles' gaze now. “You are married to a lovely woman and have children,” he said with obvious resolve. “And I would never do anything to get in the way of that. Now if you don't mind, I think we should get back to our game.” He took a self-conscious, visible step back from Miles' personal space. “I believe it's my serve.”

Miles was dimly aware that behind him, Julian was running up the court wall to serve. But he was still reeling from having his suspicions – no, he realized now, his _hopes_ – about as blatantly confirmed as they were going to be. Julian was attracted to him, and he was only holding back from doing anything about it because he didn't want to betray Keiko.

Too late, Miles registered the loud _thwack_ of the hard rubber ball walloping against the court wall. Before he could even react, he took a ricochet shot square in the forehead.The burst of pain there reverberated for a moment throughout his entire body, and it felt like his skeleton had collapsed as he went down, crying out in surprised agony.

“Miles!”

The panic in his friend's voice made Miles smile faintly despite himself, even as he lay on his back, clutching at his forehead with both hands, trying to work through the blinding pain. He found the hitch in Julian's voice touching, actually.

“My god, Miles, are you all right?” As Miles reluctantly removed his hand and slowly opened his eyes, Julian's worried expression filled his vision. A flood of emotion washed over him, and just like that he _knew_. He knew that he wanted this man, wanted their friendship to turn into something different, something more.

“Wow. That hurt like hell,” he announced instead, because well, it did, and somehow he needed to say it to make it hurt a little less, and truth be told, he didn't know exactly how to say all the other stuff. Plus, the complaining had the added benefit of getting Julian to stay crouched over his prone body like he was doing right now, his soft, uncalloused hands gently probing his forehead, his temples, the sockets around his eyes. Even though Miles felt like he had taken a punch in a barfight, Julian's touch still felt erotic. The doctor examined every inch of his face, peering down at him, yes, like he was a puzzle. A medical puzzle this time, but a puzzle nonetheless. Another weak smile pushed across Miles' lips as the metaphor made him think again of Owen.

Thinking back, he probably should have taken the man up on his standing offer. He and Owen had had a lot in common and an easy way with each other, much like his relationship with Julian.

“How does it feel when I touch here and here?” Julian asked, his thumb brushing the spots just above Miles' cheekbone. Miles found the touch wonderfully intimate.

“It feels great,” he replied, voice huskier than he planned, but he decided not to care. This moment between them would pass soon, and if he was going to take advantage of it, he had to act fast. He wasn't going to let a good opportunity go by a second time around.

“It looks like you've managed to avoid serious ...” Julian began, but before he could finish, Miles pulled him in for a kiss.

 _I was right about that_ , he mused: _Soft lips. And warm, too._

The kiss was gentle, exploratory. He felt Julian's tongue dart tentatively at the inside of his upper lip before the two of them pulled away a bit, their faces so close together, Miles could feel the man's uneven breathing.

“I hope that's what you wanted,” he rasped, a little out of breath. “Otherwise, I don't know who to call the bigger fool – me or Keiko.”

Julian's face fell. “Oh, God. Keiko,” he said, like he had just remembered that she existed. Guilt streaked in his eyes. “I can't possibly hurt her ...”

Miles grinned. “As usual, Keiko is smarter than either one of us,” he said. “She was the one who told me I should go after you.” He pulled his friend in for another kiss, a deeper one, one he could take his time with. He felt Julian freeze a moment, like he was startled, then slowly relax and finally kiss him back in earnest, the full weight of his body pressing Miles into the parquet floor of the court, ball and racquet abandoned to one side. Miles felt the sensation of Julian's erection against his thigh, and his own hardening in response. He ran his hands down Julian's sides and the man involuntarily shivered with excitement, which only made him want to make do that to Julian more.

A moment later, the court around them vanished, and the two men found themselves on top of each other in a blank room; their holosuite time was up. They pulled apart again – excited, awkward, even more breathless this time. Julian searched Miles' eyes. “Keiko approves of this?” he confirmed.

“Approves of it? Hell, she practically demanded it,” he grinned. “She likes you. She says you're a good friend to me.” His smile turned slightly salacious. “A _very_ good friend.”

Julian gave a surprised little laugh, catching the reference to last night's dinner, then shook his head, open amazement on his face. But he went in for another kiss. A few seconds later though, they were interrupted by banging on the holosuite from outside.

“Gentlemen! I'm afraid time's up!” Quark admonished through the door.

Julian gave a soft exhalation of disappointment. “That was just getting good.”

Miles agreed. “Your quarters?” he suggested.

“Yes,” Julian said with a soft hiss that told Miles that he was just as eager to explore this new dimension to their friendship.

The holosuite door opened and Quark stuck his head inside. “What are you two doing on the floor?” he inquired, looking around in confusion. “Was everything all right with the game?”

The two men looked at each other, then at Quark, then at each other again and laughed. The roused themselves up, leaning on each other for support, enjoying the closeness of it.

“No offense,” the Ferengi added, picking up the ball and examining it. “But I have to say, I just don't see the point of two grown men running around after this tiny little thing, getting all sweaty, for no real outcome. “Did you two at least bet a wager on the game?” he asked skeptically.

Julian pulled Miles in tight with an affectionate gesture. It was a familiar one, but more intense than ever before. Miles liked it.

“It was perfect, Quark,” Julian replied, his tone full of the amusement of one holding a harmless secret. “I couldn't have asked for a better outcome.”

Miles smirked. “Me either,” he added. “Come on Julian, let's go.”

The two of them left the Ferengi proprietor standing in the middle of the blank holosuite, watching their departure with raised eyebrows.

“H _u_ mans,” he muttered, shaking his head.


End file.
